The Marvalus View

I KNOW you saw Michelle last night…I was totally impressed with her speech. Now the haters and naysayers will say that her speech was well-prepared and that it was full of air; I say blow it out of your ass. What I saw was a wife who loved her husband and her family, who even though she shouldn’t have to, did indeed put forth her words to dismiss this inane notion that she is un-American and non-patriotic. I saw a mother who loves her children (who, by the way are just too adorable for words!) and wants the best for them (don’t we all?). And I saw a woman who was strong and incredibly loyal to all those around her.

I am proud of her and look forward to her being our First Lady.

p.s. I’m watching HRC and she is delivering it…I think she’s earning back some points with me…

Today is the 7th anniversary of Aaliyah’s death. I hold this young lady close to my heart…such a beautiful and talented person who seemed to be humble and full of spirit. It is still a little hard for me to watch this video, but I think it shows her at her best…

R.I.P. Baby Girl…

Aaliyah - Rock The Boat
video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on August 20, 2006 by eversleeping06

When I used to go to church regularly, the 23rd Psalm was repeated every Sunday as part of the worship service. Looking back on those times, I recall standing there, repeating the words…but not really taking in the true meaning. It is one thing to read your Bible; it is quite another to take those words in and understand them and determine how they apply to your life.

As you know, I read my Bible nightly. And I have ventured into the Book of Psalms and came across the 23rd Psalms a couple of nights ago and the meaning has attached itself to me in a new way. Maybe because I have released control of my life to God and am following him where he leads me to, or maybe it is because I’m older and a bit wiser…whatever the case, the words of this Psalm bring me comfort and assure me that I am never alone and am blessed. I offer these words to you on this Sunday morning…

Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

I have had a verrrryyyy long and hard week. I am tired and mentally drained, and I couldn’t be happier. I guess you are probably tired of hearing me say that, but the truth is the truth. Included in my happiness, however are some challenges and frustrations that I need to deal with…but I know they are there to build my character and help me become better, stronger. So I don’t worry and will deal with them.

Let’s get to this 10Spot, shall we? I need to talk about something other than work…

10 - Apologies

I missed the 10Spot last week…my apologies to those of you who look forward to it. I’m a little concerned about my readership…it seems to have dwindled down to only OSF hits. I need to do something about that.

9 - The Olympics

I haven’t written much about The Olympics, but I’ve witnessed some of the most amazing things in watching. I was totally against watching them at first, but once I sat down and the TV was on, I was hooked, instantly. The whole Michael Phelps thing, the Jamaican track star (go Mr. Bolt!) and the USA Basketball team have got me keeping track. The only thing I don’t like is the apparent cheating…that is bootsy. And the fact that all the men’s basketball games come on in the morning (WTH??)…but I will get to see them win the gold tomorrow! And I am terribly proud of the ladies, winning the gold in women’s basketball…yay!! I guess I just got caught up in the spirit of the whole thing, and I make no apologies for it…

8 - Fantasy Football

I had my fantasy football draft last weekend. I ended up with Adrian Peterson (Minnesota Viking - Running Back) as one of my running backs…he’s really the only player I drafted that I’m excited about. I think this year is going to be a Cowboys’ year…and I don’t have a single Cowboy…dammit! I’ll keep you posted how I do.

7 -  JoBama

So it’s Joe Biden, huh? I must admit that other than his big mouth, I know nothing about him. I did some reading today and he has got a pretty impressive voting record (at least his voting record signifies that he believes in what I do). So my initial reaction was, “Seriously?” But the more I gain knowledge about him, I think this is a good choice. Of course, it is always good to have someone on your team that is not afraid to speak their mind, and I think Biden is that person…although he may have to contain that “foot to mouth” thing…

6 - Take Me As I Am

When I need some comfort…when I am feeling a little down or need a lift, I put on Mary J. Her words are real, her songs tell me a story and remind me that I can be me and it is okay. Here is one of my favorites:

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on April 17, 2008 by rchasonn

5 - Dammit, Shaq!

There is a story that I read on Necole Bitchie about Shaq and this chick…I can’t; I just can’t…please just go here and read it. You know how much I love Shaq, but dammit if he don’t get his shit together…he finna be replaced…

But wait…there’s more…damn shame.

4 - SMDH

I read this story and was just speechless. This woman was accused of killing her 2-year-old nephew, but they can’t get her out of her house to get her to jail because she weighs close to 1,000 pounds (yeah, you read that right)…

Um, again…I have no words.

3 - I Could Look At This All Day

He may be crazy as hell…but damn, look at that body!

2 - My New Bag

Isn’t it pretty? I need to stay out of the Coach store…for real…I didn’t buy myself a “I got a new job” present…in fact, I said I wasn’t going to. But I was at the mall and they had just opened up a new Coach store and of course I walked in and when I saw her, I couldn’t leave her there…tee hee hee…I won’t even bother to tell you how much I paid for her. Let’s just say that she is going to serve as my birthday present too…

1 - The Big Purchase

Another reason I need to stay out of the mall period is that I’m eyeing a new truck. I’m giving myself until October to make the decision, but the answer is already yes. I just need to decide on which one. So far, I’ve got the Chevy Trailblazer, the Nissan Pathfinder, and the GMC Acadia in my line of sight. All I know is that the truck I buy will have everything in it that I could possibly want, because I’m keeping it until it won’t drive anymore. This is going to be my signature car. So I’m choosing carefully. Your suggestions are welcome.

Everyone have a wonderful Saturday evening…see y’all tomorrow!

I am feeling a bit…romantic (yeah, I’ll use that word). When you talk to me about male singers, I swoon. BIG TIME. Because a man that can sing can pretty much have his way with me (I’m a sucker for five things…a man with vocals is one of them; the other four I’ll tell you about later).

There are so many crooners to choose from. But this week, I’ve been feeling one in particular. Maybe it’s the upcoming release of the new CD that I’m looking forward to; maybe it is the fact that his voice just sounds like a cool breeze against the back of my neck; maybe because even though I don’t condone nor do I approve of his sexual addiction, I think I understand how he got there. I mean, listen to the voice. Eventually, you would stop saying no…shit, I would…

Plus, he is sexy as hell…there is something about those eyes (that’s number two)…

Eric Benet - Femininity
video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on January 11, 2007

Eric Benet - When You Think Of Me
video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on January 15, 2007

It seems as if my summer concert series is going to extend until October. I received a call today telling me that someone else that I would be willing to pay money for is coming to town on October 23…now, this man owes us some music, but he could come to my town and sing the damn alphabet and I would PAY to see him do it!

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on February 4, 2007 by newgirlfriend

Ms. V…I immediately thought of you…you too, D…

Should I be troubled by the fact that I am alone and almost 37 years old? I had a conversation today with someone and they said to me that they wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t have a man in their life…that they needed a body in the bed next to them.

OK…I must be something else because I would like to have a warm body next to mine, but need one? No. Would I like to cuddle with someone on the couch and watch a movie? Sure…but need? No. Has my life ended because I don’t have a man in my life? Not quite. I used to think, after my divorce, that I was going to turn into an old hag who latched onto her son as her only source of social life…and for a moment, I did. But it was my ex-husband who stopped that. Yes, my ex-husband. He is the one who told me to get out and enjoy my life and that my son couldn’t fill that space for me. Of course, at that time I ignored him, because who in the hell wants to admit that their ex-husband is actually making some sense? But as I continue on in my life, my mind gets clearer and I realize that my son is getting older and he has to live his own life, has to become his own person. I am his mother, not his friend, not his homie, not his partner. My son does often serve as my dining out partner, but when I need to get some time with some adults, I do. And I find myself nowadays craving some adult attention. So lately, I have started to go and spend time with my friends and do 36-year-old things.

Back to the man thing. There are times when I miss having someone here to rub my shoulders and kiss me on my neck, among other things. I patiently await my turn, though. I am not into fulfilling that space with any temporary fill-in. I want someone who is going to treat me like I deserve to be treated. I have been listening to Steve Harvey (of all people) who has stated lately that women need to have standards and requirements of how they want to be treated. I am that woman. I know what I want and do not want and won’t settle for anything less. If I know you are going to deliver less, I won’t even bother. At even the slightest inclination, I’m out. I know that sounds a little hard-ass, but there are too many games to be played, and I simply don’t have the time or patience. Nor do I have the temperament to deal with bullshit. So I’ll wait…I know it’s coming.

It is a hard thing, having authority over whether someone keeps their job or not. I don’t have direct authority, but as part of my job, dealing with seasonal employees, I have to make the decision on whether or not they are fit for the job. I had to make that decision recently and let some of the seasonals go. Having been a supervisor before, this is the part I absolutely hate. I believe in giving people a chance to show and prove, but I also believe that if it is not going to work out, then everyone has to face the facts and move on. The hard part comes when the emotions arrive.

Honestly, I am one of the coolest people you will ever meet (if I must say so myself) and even sometimes to the surprise of myself, my flexibility is immense. But when you bend me further than I can go, then I snap. It is when I reach this level that I no longer care if your feelings get hurt; that is my mistake. I realize that this is something that I need to work on…being able to make the decision quicker, before I reach this point. Unconsciously, I continue to move toward my breaking point, thinking that I am being patient and supportive; but all the while I am building to a point of frustration that is not good for me…or anyone else.

After letting the seasonals go today, I happened to be caught in the elevator with them. No one said a word; not me, not them…nobody. It was an uncomfortable and awkward silence and the longest elevator ride from the 2nd floor to the 1st floor ever (I thought riding the elevator would help me to miss them; not). Once I got to my car, I overheard a conversation the seasonals had with others about why they suspected they had been let go. They, of course, were way off base, but it helped me put things in perspective. People are going to say what they have to say to make themselves feel better. No matter the situation, no matter how it truly went down, if they are not honest with themselves, they will make up all kinds of things to make themselves look better and make the other party involved look bad.

Being a member of the management team is hard; it is a thankless job. You cannot play both sides of the fence. But what I learned today is that I will not give up being who I am to become who people think I should be. I am who I am…I worked hard to finally get to this place in my life where I am comfortable in my skin, being me, knowing me. And I won’t give that up to satisfy anyone else.

Do you ever get the feeling that something is coming, but you are not sure what it is? You can sense it…the air around you is not quite right but you can feel the change coming. That is how I feel right now. It has more to do with my family more than it does me, I think. I’ve tried to remain positive and stay in prayer, and I still feel it. So this is the next step, I guess…to write it all out.

I am the big sister; so it is human nature that I would be the responsible one, the one who is the mature and independent one. I have often wondered how in the world could I be such a complete 180 from my younger sibling…we are polar opposites. You would think that eventually, the younger one would realize that eventually he would have to begin to do for himself…not this one. My younger brother still lives at home with my mother and still holds onto the belief that he should be taken care of. I know part of that is my fault, but the time has come for him to let that go.

I won’t speak bad of my brother, but the fact is that he has not learned to have accountability for himself. He does not know how to be responsible for himself. I find that most of the people his age have this lack of character, though. I am surrounded by these younger people at my job and I tell you, it absolutely infuriates me that younger generation believes that something is owed to them. Not all of them, because I know some 20-somethings that are enterprising and motivated, so there is still hope. The lack of work ethic that I see on a daily basis though is frightening.

My brother is in a position now where he either has to sink or swim, fight or flight. he has burned so many bridges and turned so many people off with his laziness and victim attitude that now he can’t find anyone who will lend a hand. I look at him and I am immediately saddened because he has wasted good jobs because he would rather party than work. Now it seems as if he can’t get a job (that bad reputation following him around), and he is just lost. I feel for him, but I also think there is nothing I can do for him. He often whines that no one will help him; I say, help yourself and help will come to you. He often wants to compare my relationship with my family to his relationship. It is not the same. I make the effort; he does not. He expects something for nothing…I give so I receive. Again, we are polar opposites.

I love him to death…he’s my baby brother. And everything that I’ve said here, I’ve said to him so I don’t feel bad. What makes me feel bad is that I don’t think that even in the face of failure, even in the throes of being nothing, he still won’t understand that a lesson is trying to get through to him. And that is breaking my heart.

I believe-
That we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe-
That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and, you must forgive them for that.

I believe-
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe-
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe-
That it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe-
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe-
That you can keep going long after you can’t.

I believe-
That we are responsible for what  we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe-
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe-
That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe-
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe-
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe-
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time!

I believe-
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe-
That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I believe-
That just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I believe-
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I believe-
That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe-
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I believe-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe-
That just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other,  And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I believe-
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe-
That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I believe-
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I believe-
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe-
That the people you care about most in life are the essence of life. Tell them today how much you love them and what they mean to you.

~ taken from www.rogerknapp.com