I am an Obama supporter…and what we need to do right now is keep FIGHTING!!!

Public Enemy - Fight The Power
video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on December 3, 2007 by 2catz

This is the video I originally posted…I think it is fitting so I’m putting it back…it starts with you!

Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror
video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on February 20, 2007 by mjdancinmachine 

Please be respectful of other OSFers (no matter who they are supporting) and their selections…continue to have fun! Smooches!

I have a 28-year-old brother who simply cannot function in the real world on his own. He cannot hold a job, he seems to be unable to take car of himself or his children, and when he did have a job, would always be broke come the Monday after payday. Why? He would go out and party with his boys on the weekend, renting cars and playing like he’s Big Willie and footing the bill for all the stash and his dudes would clean his ass out. Then he would have to borrow money from my mother, who he lived with at the time, to get back and forth to work for the next two weeks. Or, even better, drive my mother’s car. But then, she would have to put the gas in it for him to drive it.

I can only compare him to myself. I left my mother’s house at 18. When I went to college and came home, I was told there was no way in hell I was laying around the house without a job. Things were so unbearable for me in my mother’s house that I left and lived with my aunt until I got married. I’ve been on my own since then, married then divorced, and I’ve had to learn to deal with what life has dealt my way. I’ve struggled with choosing between putting gas in the car and eating, and coming home to the heat being turned off. Add to that equation a child that I was responsible for and I immediately realized that I had to step my game up…that I now had a life beside my own that was put into my hands for safekeeping. Failure was not an option. I worked my ass off at that company to secure a position that would pay me better money. I took classes and learned whatever it was that I could to advance myself. And I reaped the rewards of that.

My brother has none of that mobilization. Because my mother has taken care of him his whole life and has never told him the same things she told me about living in her house without a job, he never mentally made it to manhood. He is still a 16-year-old boy wrapped in a 28-year-old man’s body. And throughout this all, my mother complains to me about her desire for him to man-up, but at this point what can she do to get him to do that now?

I bring this up because another mother is brought to mind when I think of an enabler. There is one thing to love your child, as I do mine…there is another to defend him, when in your heart you are denying the truth that you know who he is. Michelle Balfour was on CNN’s Nancy Grace defending her son, William Balfour, in the Hudson case recently and her words struck me. Now my brother has never committed anything other than petty crimes of shoplifting (that’s more than enough…and I’m ashamed to even admit that…but that is his burden, not mine) and he has been to jail, but to deny that your son has a history of violent crimes and to try to diminish the severity of them in order to explain away the possibility of his involvement in this crime says more about the mother than it does the son. What it says about the mother is that she loves her son, yes…but what it also says is that she is in serious denial about the criminal her son is. Whether her son is innocent or guilty of this crime, her going on TV and making noise about her son being demonized and treated like “Attila the Hun” is not helping anything. Partly because she did not make any sense.

Don’t misunderstand me…if this were my son, I would want to do the same thing. I would want to scream from the mountaintops that he was innocent. And it would kill a little part of me everytime I saw his picture on television being labeled as a “person of interest.” But I can’t say that I would take my case to the media…and end up looking like the enabler that she appears to be in front of millions of people. Ms. Balfour’s arguments and discussion on Nancy Grace left a bad taste in my mouth…because I recognized the spot she was coming from. It was one of “I don’t know what to do, so I’m going to take it out on everyone else.”

For years, my mother took her helplessness feelings about my brother out on me…we went a whole two years without speaking during one of these episodes. I was somehow to blame for his inadequecies. It was somehow my fault that he didn’t own up to his failures, and it was my fault that he was turning into something other than what she had hoped he would be.

I used to be angry and bitter with my mother at enabling my brother like she does…but then I realized that I was holding myself back. And that she would eventually have to deal with all of that (which she is doing now). I have come to terms with the way that I was treated as a teenager and young adult; the things that were said and done to me…and have even begun to consider them a blessing. As for my brother, I just continue to pray that one day he will realize that he needs to be his own person, and stop hiding behind my mother’s legs. I have often told him that I will never be the mother to him that my mother is and if she leaves us, he will be in a dire situation. I love my brother, but I will not take care of him…I only have one child. And because I love that child, I am trying to teach him to be his own person. I do not do his laundry, I do not clean his room, he has chores and responsibilities…I know that is all common for a 13-year-old. But maybe the one thing that is most important is that he has a father that will teach him that being a man means standing up. And that is one thing a mother, no matter how hard she tries, can never teach a boy how to do. My child’s father/ex-husband/baby daddy is the main reason that I will not be an enabler to my child…and for that, I am and always will be eternally grateful.

Sorry for the downturn yesterday…and it is a new day and we move on and forward, right?

So let me start this Music Tuesday off with Jazmine Sullivan. I don’t know why, but the radio songs always grate on my nerves…probably because they play them so damn much that they become annoying. I don’t listen to the radio much, but it seems like when I do, the same damn song is on!

But the other night, I sat down and listened to Jazmine Sullivan’s whole CD and this girl has got an awesome voice! The CD turned out to be nothing like the radio single (why am I surprised at that?) and it truly displays this young lady’s talent. I was blown away by the emotion and raw passion in her voice…and I am especially intrigued with what appears to be her next single, “Bust Your Windows”…the lyrics are fierce and Jazmine is bringing it. It is not enough nowadays just to be able to sing…you have got to have songs that bring that across, and Jazmine definitely does. It may be easy for her to get lost among the Bey’s (not hating, I love Bey) and Ciara’s and Rhianna’s (this may be hate…I don’t like either of these heffas) of the music industry…but if you close your eyes and open your ears and judge on voice alone, Jazmine wins hands down.

I have already picked a favorite from this CD. That would be ”In Love With Another Man.” This song speaks to me, for me, about me…it’s a story I’ll tell you later; for now, just listen:

Next up is my boy John Legend. I am one of those John Legend lovers…I quite frankly have been riding this dude since his name was still John Stephens. You know how you find someone before they make it big and watch them blow up and it thrills you to pieces? That’s how I feel about John. I have a bit of a soft spot for a man that sings and plays piano, so you know dude is right up my alley, right? But beyond that, he has one of those voices that stroke your musical soul. From “Ordinary People” to “Show Me” and “Again” (I seem to be one of the few that happened to love JL’s second CD…maybe because it holds some significance for me too…there’s a story there, too…later) to his newest. When I heard “Green Light” I stood back a bit, and ruminated on exactly what was going on here. That is until Andre 3000 let me in on a secret during his guest spot on the tune: “Sometimes you have to step from behind the piano…even Stevie Wonder got down sometime.” I now understand. So I plugged into my Rhapsody in anticipation of what this CD would bring, and JL does not disappoint.

I am in love with JL all over again with this CD…

Enjoy!

Today has been one of those extremely hard days. I spent most of the day wondering why people have so much hate in their hearts. I mean, a plot to kill That One? I think we all know that underneath all the ranting and raving at The Old Dude/Caribou Barbie rallies, somewhere this was lurking. But I don’t blame them entirely…this would have probably surfaced without them. And some cruel beast (not even worthy of being called human anymore) killing an entire family, over what? Over what? My heart aches for JHud and her family…Lord knows I cannot even imagine what they are going through right now. And even though I will probably never know her, it is the human in me to extend my condolences to her and shed tears for what she and her family are going through right now.

I heard a song today that expresses exactly how I feel…I would like to share it with you. It was originally sung by Nina Simone, and this version is by Lighthouse Family.

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on July 2, 2007 by NewestNuma

Peace and blessings, y’all…

10 - For Real?

This young lady’s  story was that she was robbed and assaulted by a “big black man” who carved a “B” in her cheek after noticing her McCain sticker on her car. And instead of validating and waiting for further details, The Old Dude’s campaign ran with it, because who wouldn’t believe that the little white girl wasn’t assaulted by the “big black man?” Of course, embellishments were added, for instance, the “B” standing for Barack and saying that this proves that That One’s campaign and those associated with it are out of control. Then of course we find out the story is not true…she made it up. And miracles of all miracles, the story disappears…just like that. Please read the story here.

This is some flat out bullshit…Being the mother of a young black male, I am horrendously upset that a generic description of some “big black man” could be used in this situation and that it could have possibly blown up into something uncontrollable. When will it end, people?

9 - My Heart…

Jennifer Hudson’s mother and brother were found shot and killed inside a home on Chicago’s south side Friday. You can read the story here…

I pray for Jennifer and her family, that she will be able to weather this storm. This has to be one of the saddest stories I’ve read in a long time…

8 - Overdose

Isiah Thomas was rushed to the hospital after an accidental overdose of sleeping pills. Hmm…I never understood “accidental overdose”…how do you accidentally take too many pills? I’m not saying it can’t happen; I’m just asking how…

OK, now Mr. Thomas is saying that it was his daughter that had the medical emergency, not him. But the police chief says that he’s lying…and that they know the difference between treating a 47-year-old man and a 17-year-old girl.

7 - Wassup?!

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on October 24, 2008 by 60frames

6 - A Little Musical Interlude

5 - I Could Look At This All Day

That One in Richmond, VA

 4 - Some Coonery

I know you all know about this whole “Real Chance at Love” bullshit on VH1…who’s decision is it to continue this crap on TV? And these are the two worst people to give a show to in the history of televison…I was flipping through the television and came across this shit yesterday and couldn’t do anything but shake my head. I sat through Flav…and even one season of New York, but I cannot endure this shit (partially because I think these dudes are a little suspect; any dude that takes longer than me to do their hair is a problem).

Look at this shit:

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on October 9, 2008 by lele89119

3 - ???s

What do you think about office relationships?

I saw this on MSNBC.com and it had me thinking…do celebrity endorsements really sway voters?

Will you go see “Notorious” when it comes out (the life story of Biggie)?

What is the one food you absolutely refuse to eat?

2 - My Son

I think I’ve mentioned before that my son is now 13. I realize that as a 13-year-old, he’s got a lot of things going on in his brain: school, girls, hormones, football, basketball, trumpet, social activities, etc…but I swear to God if he don’t get his act together and stop talking to me like he’s talking to his little buddies, he ain’t going to make it to 14.

That is all…

1 - BET Hip-Hop Awards

I couldn’t bring myself to watch this year. But I read that it was Lil Wayne’s night…he seemed to win all of the awards. I don’t want to hate on him, but what is the deal? Is this what hip-hop has evolved to? I’m almost ashamed to call myself a hip-hop lover when Lil Wayne wins “Lyricist of the Year.” What lyrics? I’m so…ugh…

Have a good night, y’all…

Bonus: Will This Be You?

h/t RDB…

I had to do some research for this one…and I found what I think is a good one.

I give you…Club Nouveau! See, you don’t even remember them, do you!? tee hee hee…

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on November 17, 2008 by DonP76

First things first…

The theme for tomorrow is:

One Hit Wonders!

Should be interesting…

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There are specific periods of time when I feel very womanly. Like I am totally me, and everything that I have worked for all of my life has culminated in right here and right now. I feel empowered and strong, my mind feels like it is at its fullest power, and I just feel completely and utterly…fabulous. These are the days that I wake up and thank the heavens above for…because this is when I, like others I’m sure, am at my best.

But there is a disadvantage to these days. These days also seem to stir up my libido. That is hard for a sister that has been celibate for over 2 years (did I just say that out loud?) and has vowed to remain so until I find someone who is worth my time. But the nights are hard, y’all (or not hard, depending on how you look at it). I say my prayers and just go to sleep most nights…but the thoughts creep in. That’s when I lay there, remembering what it feels like to have someone hold you, kiss you, etc. I know I should release those thoughts and try to focus on something else, but how exactly do you do that? I have tried reading before bed until I get sleepy, playing solitaire on my phone, watching TV until I fall asleep, but they are always there. Lucky for me, whenever the temptation manifests itself in the form of a live person, all I see is drama when I look at them. And I’m able to tell Ms. Kitty no and them no and retreat back to my cold ass bed. But what do I do when the luck runs out?

I like to think that because my life is falling back in order after being in the valley for so long, that maybe that means that my love life is going to pick up here shortly as well. We’ll see. For now, I will continue to thrash about in my sleep, waking up occasionally breathing heavily, wondering who the hell that man was in my dream and wondering if I’ve seen him before of if he’s somewhere in my future…

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on January 11, 2007 by bobcad82