Something happened to me last night that I am still thinking about, still contemplating, still looking back on. I think I’ve said before that I’ve lost a little belief in myself because of the happenings in my life over the past couple of years, but last night, I got a boost. It feels good to hear someone tell you something that you know is a message being delivered, especially when that person knows nothing about you, or what you’ve gone through, or where you have been. But when they speak the words to you, you know those words are intended for your heart and soul…and you have no choice but to listen.
I can sit here and say all that I have achieved and all that I can do, but if I don’t believe that I can deliver on those things, then it means absolutely nothing. If I doubt myself, then I am my own obstacle…I don’t want to stand in my own way of achieving whatever is intended for me. Is it fear holding me back? Is it just that I don’t want to appear cocky or arrogant, and hold myself back because of that? Maybe it’s a combination of both of these things…I don’t believe in shouting from the rooftops or doing a lot of attention-getting; I just like to do things and get them done and move on. There is still doubt within me though; on whether or not all the things that I have in my life I deserve…or better yet, whether I have done enough to deserve the things that I have.
I know I shouldn’t question why I have what I have, why I have been given what I have been given. I should accept it and keep moving forward. That’s something that I have to work on. After what happened to me last night, it is something that I intend to be more conscious of—not questioning why. It is my goal to raise my head above all of this doubt and toss it out and just keep moving. I owe that to myself.
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