Should I be troubled by the fact that I am alone and almost 37 years old? I had a conversation today with someone and they said to me that they wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t have a man in their life…that they needed a body in the bed next to them.
OK…I must be something else because I would like to have a warm body next to mine, but need one? No. Would I like to cuddle with someone on the couch and watch a movie? Sure…but need? No. Has my life ended because I don’t have a man in my life? Not quite. I used to think, after my divorce, that I was going to turn into an old hag who latched onto her son as her only source of social life…and for a moment, I did. But it was my ex-husband who stopped that. Yes, my ex-husband. He is the one who told me to get out and enjoy my life and that my son couldn’t fill that space for me. Of course, at that time I ignored him, because who in the hell wants to admit that their ex-husband is actually making some sense? But as I continue on in my life, my mind gets clearer and I realize that my son is getting older and he has to live his own life, has to become his own person. I am his mother, not his friend, not his homie, not his partner. My son does often serve as my dining out partner, but when I need to get some time with some adults, I do. And I find myself nowadays craving some adult attention. So lately, I have started to go and spend time with my friends and do 36-year-old things.
Back to the man thing. There are times when I miss having someone here to rub my shoulders and kiss me on my neck, among other things. I patiently await my turn, though. I am not into fulfilling that space with any temporary fill-in. I want someone who is going to treat me like I deserve to be treated. I have been listening to Steve Harvey (of all people) who has stated lately that women need to have standards and requirements of how they want to be treated. I am that woman. I know what I want and do not want and won’t settle for anything less. If I know you are going to deliver less, I won’t even bother. At even the slightest inclination, I’m out. I know that sounds a little hard-ass, but there are too many games to be played, and I simply don’t have the time or patience. Nor do I have the temperament to deal with bullshit. So I’ll wait…I know it’s coming.
Tuesday, 19. August 2008
No you definitely should not settle if your looking for a long term relationship. Or else you will not be happy.
Wednesday, 20. August 2008
I am sighing about being 36 and alone on the constant. I love being in man arms.
However, I want what I want. And I won’t be happy if I settle for anything less. I guess it is better to wait for the one then to stay with anyone only to end up unhappy or back in the single life at 50.
Sighing
Wednesday, 20. August 2008
Well, well. Go Miss Marva! I have nothing to add because I totally agree. Period.
Wednesday, 20. August 2008
Mike - That is one thing I know for sure…
Sharon - Me too…(((heavy sigh)))
D - Right on girlfriend…
Thursday, 21. August 2008
I am learning that now at ripe ole 26
A relationship might have to end soon because of my wants. I’m not looking forward to it, though.
Thursday, 21. August 2008
*waving my MLK church fan* PREACH SISTA MARVALUS!
I just turned 31 and I’m just getting to the point where I’m realizing that these substitute lovers ain’t quite getting it anymore. I have my days where I wonder if he’ll show up. But meantime I’m working on knowing what to do and how to act when he gets here! How to appreciate him (for what he has and even what he may not have) and make sure he appreciates me in the same way.
It’s troubling when women say they NEED a man in their life. No. I NEED water and air to live. Do I want one…a GOOD one. No doubt.
People can say what they want about Steve Harvey but he talks some sense and from what I can tell he’s dead on about the way men think and why they do the things they do.
Saturday, 23. August 2008
“Good things come to those who wait.”
As we get older we also get wiser (hopefully). I am single by choice and I may be alone but definitely far from lonely.
There are women and men who are in relationships because they are afraid of being alone. It is much worse for someone to be in a relationship but still feel like they are alone. It’s beautiful when you are in a healthy, loving relationship with ups and downs (lawd knows no relationship is perfect) but you shouldn’t feel like your world is ending because your single. Physical attraction, as well as, intellectual attraction can be rewarding with the right person. We all can use some love but you shouldn’t settle for bullsh*t just to have someone on the otherside of the bed.