Because the view from here is…
Sunday Thoughts: Something’s In The Air
Filed Under The Melting Pot on August 17, 2008

Do you ever get the feeling that something is coming, but you are not sure what it is? You can sense it…the air around you is not quite right but you can feel the change coming. That is how I feel right now. It has more to do with my family more than it does me, I think. I’ve tried to remain positive and stay in prayer, and I still feel it. So this is the next step, I guess…to write it all out.

I am the big sister; so it is human nature that I would be the responsible one, the one who is the mature and independent one. I have often wondered how in the world could I be such a complete 180 from my younger sibling…we are polar opposites. You would think that eventually, the younger one would realize that eventually he would have to begin to do for himself…not this one. My younger brother still lives at home with my mother and still holds onto the belief that he should be taken care of. I know part of that is my fault, but the time has come for him to let that go.

I won’t speak bad of my brother, but the fact is that he has not learned to have accountability for himself. He does not know how to be responsible for himself. I find that most of the people his age have this lack of character, though. I am surrounded by these younger people at my job and I tell you, it absolutely infuriates me that younger generation believes that something is owed to them. Not all of them, because I know some 20-somethings that are enterprising and motivated, so there is still hope. The lack of work ethic that I see on a daily basis though is frightening.

My brother is in a position now where he either has to sink or swim, fight or flight. he has burned so many bridges and turned so many people off with his laziness and victim attitude that now he can’t find anyone who will lend a hand. I look at him and I am immediately saddened because he has wasted good jobs because he would rather party than work. Now it seems as if he can’t get a job (that bad reputation following him around), and he is just lost. I feel for him, but I also think there is nothing I can do for him. He often whines that no one will help him; I say, help yourself and help will come to you. He often wants to compare my relationship with my family to his relationship. It is not the same. I make the effort; he does not. He expects something for nothing…I give so I receive. Again, we are polar opposites.

I love him to death…he’s my baby brother. And everything that I’ve said here, I’ve said to him so I don’t feel bad. What makes me feel bad is that I don’t think that even in the face of failure, even in the throes of being nothing, he still won’t understand that a lesson is trying to get through to him. And that is breaking my heart.

Viewing 3 Comments

    • ^
    • v
    Sometimes we just have to let them fall and then get back up on their own. Of course we will be needed to still love on them through the process!
    Keep in mind that even after the fall they don't always learn their lesson.. It sometimes takes more than one fall... :roll:
    Just keep loving & praying!
    • ^
    • v
    Ms Marva, I know exactly how you feel. My "baby brother" was on a path to real self distruction (at best) a few years ago. It was hard on all of us. Talking to him and praying for him seemed to be falling on deaf ears. He was really in a bad way. As he hit rock bottom, my mother and I came to his rescue - as in the past - but this time it was different. He left his environment and moved in with me. He literally had no place to go. He was isolated when he moved in with me so therefore, he was able to start getting rid of his own demons. Just when he was at his lowest point, he hit a break through. He claimed it and was able to turn his life around. That was nearly 25 years ago.

    I believing and praying that your brother will understand the lesson, but in learning that lesson you may be challenged once again to be there to help him threw it.

    (I was wondering if I should put all this in this comment. Then I was kicked off the internet. When I got back on, the comment was still here...Divine Intervention!)
    • ^
    • v
    It's hard Marva. I've watched so many family members self destruct. They'd complain about their situation and play victim until the cows came home. However, they never looked for help or sought it out. They were content to complain and bitch their lives away.

    It is extremely painful to watch essentially good people destroy their own lives by their inability to be honest with themselves. I sometimes think we fear out own short comings so much, that we don't address them.

    All I can say is keep the door open for your brother if he ever reaches a point where he wants to heal and become a better person for himself.
 

Trackbacks

(Trackback URL)

close Reblog this comment
Powered by Disqus · Learn more
blog comments powered by Disqus



Blog design by So Chic Design

The Marvalus View is using WP-Gravatar