I’ve seen this commercial a couple of times, and everytime it comes on, I laugh out loud!

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on June 5, 2008 by etrade

This day is both heaven and hell for me. Hell because I didn’t have my own father growing up…never knew the love of a dad in my own life. It has surfaced in many areas in my life, and has caused much heartache. But I forgive him, at age 36…I can’t say that he knew not what he did, because I have half-sisters who did know him and continue to know him; but I will say that in order for me to move on, forgiveness is a necessity.

But I don’t want to dwell on the hell. I want to focus on the heaven of this day. I want to focus on all of the adult men in my life who stepped in and provided me with a fatherly figure: my uncles and family friends who encouraged me, supported me, loved me in that absence. It never quite filled the void, but I appreciate everything that they stood for and these are the men that I looked up to and when it came time to make the decision about having my own child, my mind was made up before conception that no matter what, the father would be in his life. How could I make this decision, you might ask. It is called concession and compromise and doing whatever it takes to include my child’s father in his life.

I give honor today to the man that is the father to my child. Without him, I don’t know where my child would be, or if he would be half the respectable young man that he is. Now, this child does have a lot to learn, but what 12-year-old doesn’t? We are in for a wild ride as this child enters into his teenage years, and I thank God everyday for the presence of his father. When I cannot reach my son, his father can. Those things that I cannot teach him, his father can. There is a bond between the two of them that touches my heart in a way that renders me speechless at times. When his dad calls, and can get my son to do something that I cannot get him to do, I am sometimes amazed. I don’t question it, though; there are simply some things that I don’t have that his dad does.

During our divorce, my ex-husband and I had many arguments and fights…never once did we argue about me attempting to keep our son away from him. That has never been my intent, and I simply do not understand women who use their children as a tool to get back at their ex-lovers and ex-husbands. What about the child? The child’s needs should come first and unless the person is a threat, or is not mentally stable to be an influence in the child’s life, then make the child the priority and make sure that a relationship is forged. Divorce is between the adults, not the parents and children.

So today, I say Happy Father’s Day to my baby’s daddy (is that appropriate?). I say thank you for being a father, and not a sperm donor, to this beautiful gift that was given to us. I thank you for being a daddy and a man who loves our son as much as I do. And I say Happy Father’s Day to all of the fathers who insist on being present in their children’s lives, no matter what…

 

I had something else here, but I changed it to reflect the spirit of the day…

What Is A Dad?

A dad is someone who
wants to catch you before you fall
but instead picks you up,
brushes you off,
and lets you try again. 

A dad is someone who
wants to keep you from making mistakes
but instead lets you find your own way,
even though his heart breaks in silence
when you get hurt. 

A dad is someone who
holds you when you cry,
scolds you when you break the rules,
shines with pride when you succeed,
and has faith in you even when you fail… 

~By Susan Ceylise.~