You can also read this post over at my other spot, Live Marvalously…but I thought it bore repeating here, so here goes:

My son graduates from 6th grade today. I am feeling nostalgic and my heart is full. My soldier is 12 years old, and he is growing up so fast. I almost can’t keep up with the changes in him. Just this past year, I’ve had to deal with his voice changing (already!?), and his height reaching the point where I am now looking him eye to eye. It’s amazing to me, watching this life mature and grow up right in front of my eyes.

What is even more amazing is watching his mind expand. He is learning new things and discovering things about himself, but he’s still as precocious as ever. He still tries to make me laugh when I’m down (and does a good job of it), and still gives me hugs when I need them most. He is the light in my world, and I honestly don’t know what my life would be like without him. I hope to never know that.

I’ve said it before, but it deserves mentioning again. There is a light inside this child that burns bright. How anyone can mistreat or abuse a child is beyond me. I am not a perfect parent, but I love my child. I apologize when I’m wrong to show him that it’s okay to admit your mistakes. I try to set a good example for him by rising and doing every day, so that he knows that we must continue to live life, no matter what. And I am honest with him, at all costs. He knows about most things that go on in my life (some of the things just aren’t his business); but the things that affect our home and the peace and love that are within these walls he is fully aware of. Raising a child is one of the most joyous things ever on earth, but it is also one of the most difficult. As a parent, I have had to learn how to be unselfish and to put someone else’s needs above my own.

I am because he is. And I will continue to be because he needs to be. I give a lot of credit for the way that he is touted as a respectable young man to his father. This could have been a whole lot different if I would have chosen to be one of those women who took their anger at a relationship ending out on the man. But I refused to let my son grow up without his father. And I’m quite sure that my son’s father would have refused to not be involved. There are things that I cannot teach him; things that he needs his father for. His father has and is a steady influence in his life and I thank God every day for his presence. I thank God that his father is responsible, and loves this child as much as I do, and wants to see him succeed.

The road is not over; we have just reached another accomplishment to celebrate. And I will watch my son proudly tonight, along with his grandparents (on both sides) and his father and other family members. And my heart will fill with pride as I remember that day in the hospital when he was born, and I looked upon his tiny face and I gave my word to God to love him and do for him whatever it takes to make him into an honorable man. I think we are well on our way.

Peace and blessings…

I think I’m following Robert Kelly’s trial like a soap opera; it is fascinating to me because of a couple of reasons: 1) It has taken so long to come to pass it seems like old news, but it’s not; 2) Try as we might, we can’t just dismiss this like its okay. I want to see what happens. The girl in the video was what, 12 or 13 at the time? She has to be 23-24 now? And she’s saying that is not her?

Today in court, a childhood friend of the alleged child in the video identified the girl in the tape as her best friend of ten years. She said they were best friends until their junior year in high school. Keep in mind that the child in the video (I may need to stop calling her that and think of another name for her; she is no longer a child) will not be testifying in this case. Cross-examination of this witness will take place soon.

Inexplicably, I read the news stories on this trial like I do my roundabouts on my blogroll. I will admit being somewhat entertained by Robert’s Trapped in the Closet saga, because it was sick and twisted, and showed just how mangled his mind is. I have always thought that the most creative and talented musicians were also the most tortured; it always seemed that they always had the biggest demons. They always looked good and sounded better, but behind closed doors they were a mess; giving into their perverse craving for drugs and sex and whatever other craziness that got them off.

I will also admit that when this story first broke, before I viewed the tape, I was like, “Yeah, okay.” My mind wouldn’t let me accept it. Even with knowing that he married Aaliyah when she was 14, my mind wouldn’t allow me to accept that this was an ongoing sickness with him. But then I viewed that tape and literally got sick to my stomach. And then I watched him on BET and the words that came out of his mouth, “That’s not me,” made me even sicker. If you want to insult me, do it. But don’t think that I am stupid and insult my intelligence. Which is what he is doing. I am supposed to believe that you don’t have a liking for little girls, even though there have been stories circulating around for years, and concrete evidence that you do.

I guess I needed to delve into this a little further because I’m puzzled at my own interest in this. I guess I want to see him go to jail for all the little girls that suffer in silence because they have been abused. This child in the video surely didn’t look like she was being forced to do anything, but she was a child, with a child’s mind. A man as old as Robert Kelly has no business influencing a child to do the things that this child was doing with her body, mouth, and other orifices. That is called statutory rape people. And I hope that he pays the price for introducing this child to this life that no 14 year old is ready for.

Since when is it okay to blame the child? Since when do we take his side in this? That is what has happened in all this time that this thing has played out. I happened to like Robert Kelly’s music just as much as anyone else’s (12 Play, Chocolate Factory anyone?). But it is my role as a parent of a son, mind you, to fill his life with things that are positive. This is nowhere near that. I have had quite enough. The degradation and demeaning of women to nothing is at an all time high and this case feeds right into that. This girl’s life means nothing, but save Robert’s? Fuck that…

I spend a lot of time at my son’s school and hang out with the 12 and 13 year old girls. I do it because I want them to be girls for a long time and to treasure what that means. So I talk to them, and encourage them, and give them a hug. They often look at me with that “Where did that come from?” look, and I simply smile. I think it does more for me than it does for them. Because I remember when my teachers and the volunteer parents did it for me during my elementary and junior high school days. I always felt like I had somebody there who was on my side. Somebody who cared whether or not I wrote a good paper, or gave a good speech. I think those hugs make a difference…

Peace and blessings…