I thought of an old friend today…male, and not really a friend, but a “friend.” I have one of those minds that allows things to run rampant, and I envisioned that I ran into him and his wife (which he didn’t have during our thing and I don’t know if he has now…just my imagination). We were never more than “friends,” but just the thought of running into him with someone else almost had me break out into hives.

Maybe it’s the not knowing if the sexual vibe would still be there…minute as it was, it was there. Maybe it’s seeing someone after all this time that I know can deliver would ignite some flames that I am trying to keep tamped down. Shit, maybe I feel like I would jump dude’s bones, or that he could probably talk me into giving it a go. But the thing is, when we were doing our thing, he wasn’t into it, and really neither was I. Our last conversation was me telling him that he was wasting my time, that I knew he wasn’t here because he wanted to be, but because he felt like he could be, and that he could kick rocks. 

There are times when I want to say bump all my logic and go and call up some random person who would be down for whatever so I could get me a piece of the pie just for a brief moment. So I can have a brief respite from all of this shit built up in my system. I almost feel sorry for the next dude to come along. He’s going to have to put in some work. But it won’t be for nothing, that’s for damn sure…

It’s all love…   

It is awesome being a mom…even with all the hard work and sometimes nerve-wracking missed opportunities for taking responsibility and accountability by my son, it is all outweighed by my love and the vow to never give up on him.

I just spent the day with my mother and it was delightful. The older I get, the more I understand and am grateful for what she has done.

So this is for my mother who loves the O’Jays…

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on May 24, 2007 by pieroangelo1
 
It’s all love…